Well I'm there. And it's fucking awesome. I wish you could join me so I could KICK YOU OFF YOUR TOADSTOOL, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I know, or at least I hope he doesn't read this blog, because you can fuck the fuck off you fuck.
The best part of this state of, what I'd like to call 'distilled euphoria' would be that complaining comes at the most magical of whims - like as if a unicorn fucked a dolphin... with its HORN.
Because I'm such an unoriginal fuck, I'm going to rant about something I've many times before: that person that lives in my house which I not, but some would refer to him as my 'brother' (by blood only).
Lets get some facts straight like a homosexual:The last time I ever talked (a conversation must have an intro line, a reply, and a subsequent line) to him was ... Let me scan my cyber organic archives; about more than 8 years ago.
WHY you ask? Because he is quite possibly the most giant of giant faggots of giant faggot land. Like, if you went to this Giant Faggot Land you you got the most giantous, most faggotous giant, you wouldn't even be NEAR how much giant faggotry this person I'll loosely refer to as my 'brother' exudes.
You probably can't hold a conversation with him without something going to severe penis faeces, example:
"Hello"
"I'M A GIANT FUCKWIT."
"...Acknowledged."
He's a giant Japanese weeaboo faggot.FUN FACT: I don't actually hate Japan. At all. I just say that shit to fit in with the COOL KIDS. Although their porn industry, disposition to the rest of the world and their whaling practices, I would have to say, IRK ME IN THE MOST MILD OF MANNERS.
Like, I mean, there are some weeaboo's that are, I guess 'alright', those would be the ones who keep their disturbingly fucked up fetishes to the confines of their bedrooms.
At the point where you start acting, sitting, eating, talking like a character from an Anime series, is the point where I seriously want to hire a team of engineers and design a large metal orange juicer so I CAN GRIND YOUR HEAD INTO IT.
For about 6 months he acted like L from Deathnote - you know, like being weird and awesome at the same time, except he seemed to miss the 'awesome' part.
To this day, he occasionally wears a bucket hat in reference to Urahara from Bleach. Because bucket hats were ever awesome. The only person to ever pull off that look was Ned Kelly, HIGH FIVE.
FASHION.Now I'm no fashion expert like some people who wear jeans which costs could easily save an entire third world country, but seriously - leather school shoes as 'normal shoes'. If he's feeling stylish on the day, he'll switch to joggers. WHAT.
Additionally, incredibly short buttoned shirts... And by 'incredibly short', I mean he still uses his short sleeved white buttoned shirt from year 9. Despite my parents giving him copious amounts of money to spend on new clothes that don't have a permanent stench of faggotness on it, he tends to spend them on others things, like, I don't know - faggoty girls that are like 3 years old.
LESS IMMINENT RAPE."Pssh, you don't have any friends!"
"At least I don't want to rape my 'friends' that are also 10 years younger than me."
"Lets invite some innocent girl in a skimpy school uniform upstairs, while making a cacophony of bangs and bumps so that everyone including my parents can hear that we must either be playing 'The floor is lava!', or I'm raping the fucking shit out of your ass hole."
"Hey, I'm going to go to your house despite the fact that I'm in year 12 and despite having absolutely no chance at getting a good UAI, should be studying - then I'll get told off by your dad who'll pull me aside and tell me "TO FUCK OFF AND STOP RAPING MY DAUGHTER"."
"I'm going to hang out with a bunch of year 10 girls and pay for all their expenses in the city, because I intend to get laid... Any minute now... Aaany minute now..."
"Hey, next time you get an assignment and your brain gets blocked by two giant cocks in both your ears, call me, and get my faggot arse to do your assignment for you!, Because obviously, both of us are smart people and are absolutely not going to get 48.3 UAI!"
LAZY AS FUCK. Like, more than normal fuck, like black dick in a midget.
"What? Why are you, my parents, asking me to pay a measly 10 dollars a week to stay at YOUR HOUSE? Why would I ever pay you when I'm NINETEEN years old, JOBLESS and LEECHING off YOU, MY PARENTS?"
"I'm not going to try and get a job, a job with come to me, if destiny wills it - in other words, I'm a lazy fuck who likes put my dick into mouse traps."
"I'm not going to learn how to cook, or clean, or use a washing machine, because obviously, I'm going to live here the rest of my life seeing as how I'm such douchebaggy douchebag fuck."
BASES EVERYTHING HE DOES ON 'NORMS'."I'm socially inept because I heard something on the radio that it's cause by parents smothering their children, when obviously, it's cause I'm a whiny pussy shit."
"I'm going to stay at home for another 300 years because that's the growing trend."
"I'm going to listen to faggoty J/K rock because that's what all my friends listen to, despite, firstly my friends being all delinquents bitches, and secondly, that they're all girls."
"I'm going to be a 'free spirit' because that's obviously how you achieve happiness."
(FYI: He is not happy, he is actually quite disapointed in himself, AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM, WHEN LIFE KNOCKS YOU DOWN, YOU GET THE FUCK BACK UP AND YOU BEND LIFE OVER AND RAPE IN IN THE ARSE WITH YOUR DUAL COCK WIELD.)
Ok I'm out of ideas, and I feel considerably vented out.
GOOD DAY GENTLEMEN.
