Friday, April 17, 2009

Pedophile Adventure [CHOOSE YOUR OWN DESTINY]

You're 16 years old, and you're in year 10. You have a history assignment due soon - you have internet, but you can't press the power button on your computer because you're non-existant Z-cups get in the way.

What do you do?
- Decide to change your ways, and try to do the assigment yourself.
Go to 1.

- Call pedophile.
Go to 2.

You will ALWAYS be a slut, now go to 2.

OF COURSE!, you call your local slave-boy/pedophile who's way out of school, but since he's incapable of making friends his own age, will deter to letting himself be used by sluts like you.

You pick up your phone and hit "Mah Bitch" which you've conviniently put on speed dial for dialing speedily. You tell him of your plight, and at the quiver of your voice, he beckons to your every whim because your pussy reeks of cocks - Because you're a slut. You need to be rememinded because you're fucking stupid too.

A cock appears in your mouth.

What do you do?
- Act surprised.
Go to 3.

- Suck it dry.
Go to 4.

You pretend you don't expect a dick in your mouth every five seconds, but the guilt of knowing you're a slut is building up inside of you.
The guilt burst out of your eyes and ears in a flurry of gummy worms made of AIDS.

You die.

You're a slut, you expect a dick in your mouth every five seconds, otherwise you die from starvation. Because, that's all sluts eat. Dicks. And occasionally pussy if they're feeling adventurous.

After getting pit roasted, you want to have a chat - where you do all the talking, and the other person does all the listening.

What do you do?
- Talk to the mirror, because that would be the most logical thing to do if you don't want the other person to talk back.
Go to 5.

- Call your bitch.
Go to 6.

You start talking to the mirror, but you find it too damn sexy and you start making out with your reflective self. You start pounding yourself too hard, and the glass breaks. You're skewered with thousands of pieces of glass, and are bleeding profusely.

You die.
Oh, and you have 7 years bad luck.

Your phone conviniently slips out of your pussy because you're a slut, and your pussy can now hold stuff inside it. You hit bitch face's speed dial and talk endlessly about how incredibly huge your pussy is. Bitchface on the other hand is listening contently because he has nothing else to do than look at pictures of cups.
You're still on the phone talking 2 days later, and all of a sudden, your phone disconnects while you're talking about how much cum you've swallowed - You have no more credit left.

What do you do?
- Talk to him online, because that would've solved this entire story from the start.
Go to 7.

- Sell yourself on the streets.
Go to 8.

You try to reach for your power button, but thousands of dicks get in your way. And being the slut you are, you can't resist a sperm fest. The amount of cum starts to fill up the room and because you're stupid, you don't have doors or windows.

You drown.

Because you're so desperate to tell your bitch how many dicks you can take in one hole, you resort to bending over in the middle of the street. But becase your pussy is so huge, you end up devouring all your customers.
Dissapointed, you realise you're in front of bitchfaces house.

What do you do?
- Whip out a dildo.
Go to 9.

- Go in his house and talk to him face to face.
Go to 10.

You sit down in the middle of the street and spread your legs wide like you always do, because you're a stupid slut. As you proceed to insert the dildo, the vacuumous force of your slutacular pussy ends up sucking you into it which induces a paradox, which causes the universe to implodes.

You die.

You head into the house and begin to talk to your local pedophile and he dies. But you don't care because you're a stupid slut and all you do is use people.
Suddenly a hoard of horses gallop up to you, and you get gang raped in every hole. ...By horses.

You die.
The way you wanted to.
Dicks everywhere.
Because you're a fucking stupid slut.



Buxton said...


genvinout said...

did you write that yourself?

Kuoke said...

Yeah. I did. Based on a true story too.

Anonymous said...

Is it Emerson?

Kuoke said...


Deevan said...

Is it your brother going out to help slutz?

Kuoke said...

He's staying indoors actually. Unless you mean that figuratively.