Tuesday, November 30, 2010


I am so capped, I can't even connect to patch WoW, so expect daily blogs from me. Try to keep up.

Starting with things I put asterisks next to in this blog.

List of priorities.
  1. I need a job.
    Hell, what even happened to all those many people who said they'd hire me post-hsc? They seemed to have vanished faster than the grime in dishwasher commercials.
    I even offered to draw FOR FREE. No biters. Though one person gave me 42 dA points out of pity - that's about 5 cents.
  2. I can't really think of anything. Maybe money, but that's related to number 1.
  3. A new computer?
    My mother said she'd loan me 1k for a new comp, but I'm thinking it might be a waste because really, tools =\= skill. I'm thinking it might improve output rate or perhaps even efficiency, but yeah...
  4. Can't think of anything.

The problem, I imagine is having to whore yourself out. I've said this before, but posting around dA pretending to be some uppity opinionated outspoken douche bag isn't exactly the the trade off for getting jobs, though that seems to be the only real way to get them. GOD. I need some sort of advertising scheme that involves minimal effort. There are a bunch of silent artists I know of that don't participate at all in the community but have an onslaught of followers. HOW. It probably has something to do with the fact that their abilities are godlike - y'know, possibly because of that - but there are so much untalented whores on dA getting jobs and just like the real world, it comes down to the fact that there are horny mother fuckers willing to get down with aids because they are simply walking red lit streets. FUCK. WHORES.

I mentioned before that I'm actually offering to draw for free on the dA boards, but really, look at the replies column on that sub forum. If you didn't' click, it's basically a list of 0's, meaning that place is deader than fuck.


I wouldn't want to sound up myself in saying that I don't think that I'm so incredibly bad at art, thus being the reason I'm getting jobs, namely because the previously mentioned whores are a lot more worse than I am. By no means am I any where even close to the top tiers, maybe middle tier if I'm lucky, but dicks and whores, fuck these bitches.

All in all : Cockfest.

Here's a WIP:
After this I might redo Mallard because it's not exactly how I wanted it to turn out. Hell I even said it back then. Also, it somehow managed to get quite a bit of ad revenue, the highest actually, now that I look at it, disregarding Fiend Keeper, which was won an award, front paged and mentioned by Tom Fulp himself.



Remember that time I said I'd stop posting art and random ass shit?

I lied.

To answer Buxton's question of my blogging whereabouts, you may attribute it to WoW, or perhaps the actual fact of me not knowing what the fuck to blog about. Even with those asterisk's, I have no opinion on anything because I am neutral to EVERYTHING. All in all, it usually ends up in some winding mess of wad'd dick and balls that genuinely makes no sense to anything in the existence of the world at hand.

(Note, not related to Smortscast. If anything it's the fact that after everyone left, I realised that I actually had a quota on my net, AND it's even slower than it should be AND today was the day I was going to get my Venomhide Ravasaur AND I get dc'ed in less than a minute after log in AND my computer is starting to die AND I'M GOING TO BE CAPPED UNTIL AFTER CATACLYSM COMES OUT. GOD DAMMIT.)

Monday, November 29, 2010


I think I have Jess T's beret.

Someone pass on the message.

I also still have Genvins keys.
Also about the Shove It money, split it however you want, I don't really care any more. If you're going to do maths with it, I think I had $210 - 230.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Where's Quoc?

Since Quoc hasn't been posting I think I should step up and post shit myself. So here goes, this is me a few days ago:

...Even though I'm still 17.

Saturday, November 20, 2010


If you've read previous blogs, you know I have a problem with the art world, so in this post, I'm basically going to jot the entire thing down so I can refer people to it later. It should be noted that this will basically be a rewrite of my 25 mark essay for the Art HSC.

Art died after modernism. Reason being, that everything up before modernism was a representation of visual life. Modernism was brought about after the invention of the camera forced artists to question "what is art?". Everything prior, in case you were wondering was basically the renaissance era with romanticism and neo-classicism and whatnot. Modernism is basically all that hoodoo people seem to think is bizarre looking, but don't question its intent. (Picasso, Monet, Dali.)

POST MODERNISM HOWEVER, is that nonsensical array of colours people seem to unrelated to the art world simply because they don't understand it.

The problem I see with the logic of this is that pre-modern works dealt with what you could see. Modernist works dealt with what you could experience and feel. Post-modernism basically ran out of places to hide and rather than finding a nice gutter to sit in, decided to flash its hairy balls upon the world. Fuck.

The general thing I'm trying to say is that people are trying to create art for a world that died a long time ago, and has for a long, LONG time needed a new meaning because for the last 4 decades, it's basically been the newer generations trying to beat a dead horse -- no, a dead, zombie horse.

Cultural significance would be a key part of the core definition, as really, art is simply a place holder or a historical identifier of a time period, but to think that todays art could compare as importantly to the world like Caravaggio's religious works in a heavily Catholic Sicily would be stupid and nonsensical.

Hooray, art jokes no one will actually get.

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Layout is being redone, as you probably could tell. If you came here during that, you'll know I almost fucked it up for about 2 hours yesterday I believe - I've lost track of time.

I was clearing out my room which started a week ago, now it's stuck in limbo with basically everything everywhere. I came across all that junk I've hoarded over the years and was tempted to do a really really bad nostalgia trip blog with images and such, but yea--no.

I will give some honourable mentions though:

2004 or 2005? - The mirror from the light reflecting device? stolen from the science labs by I would only assume Lawrence, which I later broke on the train in my defiance against the laws of luck. Hah, funny how that worked out.

2004 or 2005? - The tic-tac-toe board from Galaxy world. Obtained by each member of the - for some reason I think we called temporarily called ourselves - the Gay 5 (Myself, Dannis, Kevin T, Mala, Katrina). And on that note, 2 old school Galaxy world tokens before they went all small and everything.

2005 - The stick - literal fallen branch from a tree - I got on my birthday signed by Mr. Genvin, Stephen, Katie, Katrina, Blosia, Xinh and a couple more who didn't put their names down.

2009 - Green Lantern happy meal toy from Blosia which I still don't know why I even.

And basically every train ticket and receipt and miscellaneous paraphernalia from every outing since year 2005.

Also Genvin, I have yours or your sisters keys. What do?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

=== Quarters & Pence. ===

Equal signs in the title means something's going down.

(Just quickly, as the last gasp of air from this now dead blogging style, I'm trying to log on WoW now - after the formal - and turns out there's a 500mb patch. Hah.)
(500mb later, and the servers down for maintenance. Haaaah.)

As per request, this blog is going back to its root of pure emotional ranting and outbursts of someone who clearly knows anything about them. Others might say, "a view of the world from a robots perspective" - regardless, the general message I'm announcing with this post, is that there will be no more art post, no more games posts, no more random music links because I feel like updating for the sake of updating and sure as hell no more random links to things like this.

If you want my art, either subscribe to my Youtube or follow me on my DeviantArt. If you don't, I'll mention whether I have any new works at the end of posts and you can make your way there if you wish.
Status of SYH remains unknown.
Skin change coming soon to better suit the theme and coincidentally the name of this blog.

Reasoning comes from, perhaps [shout-out] Anna Vo mentioning she preferred the old style of this blog, and really, my art goes on the two previously mentioned sites and the miscellaneous stuff is usually just way too pointless to make a post about - see  "Art for Arts sake". So I thought it only logical to go back to it, and if Anna Vo is reading this, here is my correction of some details and a response to that epiphany you induced in me:

I will attempt to keep this as straight forward and short as possible, despite it being as illogical as I think it is.

Time and date, last night at the formal, myself and Anna Vo conversing about this very blog as, if you don't know, is our vague and distant link of how we know each other. She questions me of how it [old style of blogging] started and how it ended.
My response being, without going into mindless angst ridden details - there was a point in which I guess you could say I was conflicted with the choice of whether to be depressed like the rest of the world, sad and tired of living in a world where you don't belong, feeling as if you could be like everybody else but you really can't - or alternatively, keep the distance between the world of the collective mind and the reality as perceived in your own mind.
For some reason I find baffling, people actually would find their lives contrived if "their entire lives were actually dreams" to which I aptly respond "why does it matter?". The same response I would say to the "meaning of life". Because I ask this to you -- if what you envision the world as your reality was reality itself, how and why would it be altered by the fact that another conscious being either deems it as fake, or of not existing. The fact of the matter is that if you live in a world, understand and have the ability to acknowledge its every facet of its workings, how is this no better than what 'reality' really is?
Reality is created in the mind, the fact that you acknowledge people, objects, emotions as 'real' deems it to you as 'real'. I can only imagine this is the reason this is why humans have a nature about them to greet people with meaninglessly hollow 'hellos'.*
To this we could say, if reality is indeed created in the mind, then as conscious beings that have a control over said mind, then would we not be able to alter it to our benefit at will?
If you chose to be happy, you could be. If you chose to be successful, you could be. All you would have to do is believe it.
The trouble being that external forces such as the blatantly infinitely powerful collective human consciousness.
I'm tempted to rant continuously about conformity and how mentally incapable you must be to be a part of it, but I will spare you that nonsensical brain searing. For the sake of argument, I will even quote Shakespeare:
"If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?". - (The Merchant Of Venice, Quote Act III, scene I)
Point in case - No other human in the world has the right to say that you're wrong, nor do you the same to others. This extends beyond discrimination as Merchant of Venice dealt with, I believe, a Jewish merchant. There is no such thing as right or wrong. To say that a member of Parliament has more 'power' than you is a lie waving sails. The entire world is engulfed in this pathetic human attempt at 'order'.*
Previous point made implied to be separated from the collective is a good thing, but as I found out years ago, to live amongst them in your own little mental paradise creates some sort of conflict apparently...
It just seems so illogical to live in the collective world when it's such a ridiculous series of lies to somehow ensure the majority of the population remains 'happy and satisfied'.*
The fact that people are willing enough, despite not having any justified right to give themselves meaning through collective will seems like the thing I would most want to stay away from because quite frankly, I hate lies. I have not lied in several years I would honestly believe [with the exceptions of jokes and sarcasm]. The world is a giant lie as is an external meaningful existence. By this I mean that, like I mentioned earlier, people who want to find 'the meaning of life' genuinely want to believe that there is some form of a purpose when really, there isn't.
In case you're wondering, yes I have contradicted myself, but that exactly proves my point - you cannot give yourself meaning because you are meaningless, and too you cannot find meaning in life because you yourself have to grant yourself it. In short, life is one giant circle shaped lie.

At this point, I chose not to care. When I say that, I mean it. The proverb "Life is what you make it", I once used to believe to mean "life is shaped by the choices you make" - this is wrong, as I now know. It does not reflect upon choices and acts you perform, but rather what you believe life to be then becomes your reality.
I wanted a life where the problems didn't exist, so I chose not to believe they existed and by doing so was forced to keep distance with the rest of the world and its collective stronghold. I feel like I watch the world pass without my input but with all of my criticisms as I watch it toil within itself, churning with all its might to maintain some keep of form when every day, the addition of new problems are simply strung back together with lousy solutions to add to the authenticity of a decrepit world.
I just don't care. Why should I? I don't feel the justice to give myself a reason to live nor should anyone be able to give me a reason - not to say I would commit suicide, suicide is stupid and for the weak.* - so I lay back and watch the clouds because all you can really do in this world is dream.
If you don't care, you don't worry. Really, assess your problems and you should, if you have any decency of mind, realise that they aren't even problems at all. They're only problems because you think they're problems* - as mentioned earlier, the creation of state of mind is solely dependant on you. Happiness doesn't come from any external force, though some ill-hired 'popular' magazine columnist may tell you it comes from shoes, wardrobe size or even more pathetically worse, how good your social life is.*
Most people, if not all choose to 'want to be happy' as opposed to 'be happy'. They feel as if they require some collective mandate, permission even from the rest of societal being to be happy. I feel this is absolutely pathetic. Meaningless. Ill-perceived. Nonsensical. Nothing.
@Anna Vo: I imagine that the ability to overcome problems in life would be accomplishment, not happiness. Or at least, that's my understanding of it. My apologies for taking such a long time to think of why it riddled me so.

I have lost my train of thought as I deleted a paragraph due to future contridictions, but I'm going to sum this up because I may even being to rival Brendan Byron in blog length:
I could choose to be happy. I just choose not to. I could perhaps choose to be social, but really, my time to learn social mannerisms and standards is long past, and I really don't care any more [this implying, I once did]. Anna Vo even mentioned "I thought you'd be intimidating to talk to [in relation to the style of blog posts] but you're really easy to get along with" to which I replied, in quite possibly the worst fashion possible "It may be because I'm actually trying [to talk to you because it's supposed to be a 'formal' where certain standards are meant to be kept]".
It just seems that the logical weighing of happiness to effort required seems so horribly imbalanced. Fact is, happiness, or the pursuit/ascertaining it is most definitely not within the five of my top most priorities.*
And true to style, this long winded post has actually made me forget what point I was trying to make in the beginning. I've answered the first part, the second part [why the blogging stopped] would possibly because I may have ventured back into a state of happiness for a considerable amount of time - which actually ended in the worst possible way, and to make matters worse, I was on some sort of high, which means I plummeted quite a distance. It basically emotionally killed me beyond the point of depression. I posted a blog about this, where I genuinely could not feel anything. At all. There was a time period where when stimuli were applied, I could actually feel my brain thinking to itself "I should be feeling an emotion but am not" and my body would feel an empty shudder originate from the base of my spine. Lasted a couple of months. First time I thought that I might have gone too far. But no adventure goes without its gain. There was a point where I didn't want emotions because I found them loathsome and unnecessary. I guess I may have experienced that. It was not exactly what I thought it would be. For future reference, I have 'broken free' from this hold in the last couple of weeks. Though now I feel possibly worse. Not caring can only be measured by what it would be to care, and the difference seems so much more substantial now.

My apologies, this I assure you will by my last bit / TL;DR:
Reality is perceptive. I don't want a happy reality because honestly I don't deserve it, nor would I want to be engulfed in lies. There is no such thing as true happiness because it is plagued with the lies of the collective world. I choose not to care because there's no reason to worry because everything you find problematic is a problem because you believe it to be a problem.

* = Future topic.

Monday, November 15, 2010


Really bad Youtube page pimping.

Took me a while, but disregarding demand/cash inflow/initial costs, if I sold posters, they would be about 10$ea, 5$ for postage to AUS, 10$ for international.
Might opt to simply pumping out poster style arts and selling that instead of commissions because that's dodgy.

Also, posted "Walk on Clouds" in a "I'll rate your art with my shitty opinion and lack of anything remotely related to intelligence". It got a 3/5. I mentally told her/him to fuck off because some lack lustre piece which ranks among things I did when I was 15 - really bad - got a 4.5/5.
Why you might ask? I can only assume it was because it had some form of subject matter dealing with blood and anime. Fuck you.

Looking around groups on dA.
Bunch of groups involving 'young/teen artist'.
Not to be a total douche, but when I scan the submitted works by said teens/youngins, I think to myself, I could rip all these bitches.

I'm a dick.
Also, might be making a Tumblr based on the sheer image per post idea.
Although I did laugh when one of the features promoted in the 'Reasons you should join Tumblr' was "High quality images".
Embiggened images are not high quality.
They are inefficient, and that is all they are.

Also, I have no idea what the fuck travel formal transport mobile device being.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Beard Mouth.

A central Kentucky man says he was forced to eat his beard after an argument about a lawn mower got out of control.

The rest of the story is disapointing though.
I thought he ate his beard after completely annihilating his opponent in an act of manly, manly defiance and domination.


Saturday, November 13, 2010

Slow Motion Lemmings.

Brush teeth with mint toothpaste.
Eat mint chocolate ice-cream.
Taste nothing.

My life in a nutshell.

+ image coming up next.
(in a couple of hours).


3rd Place = $20.


Red+white == poster with white space.
Other colours == lengths of postal tubes.


(This is a visual graph I made for myself because I hate numbers because their faces are stupid.)

Saturday, November 6, 2010


Hey guise, first person to ask me for a commission is a furry steampunk-er (?).
Just thought I'd let you know.

Walk On Clouds Redux.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Riding High For What It's Worth.

I had a dream where the sissies had the majority of the power within the school and for some reason there was an assassination plot planned for the last day of school. I was dragged into it because I wanted to make a clay version of a Minecraft spider and while in the shops looking for clay, I bumped into some people [from school] discussing the plot.

There was also an interlude where I wandered into a really nice English style university type thing with stylised enviromentally themed architecture which I thoguht was nice.

There was the final gathering/assembly or something where we all stood an closed our eyes in some sort of silence type thing, and I decide to slowly make my way behind some wall because at this point, I have no idea who the target is.

The Buxton gets head shotted and everyone starts applauding.

I shit you not, this was a totally real dream.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


You know how in Cataclysm, Camp Taurajo is burnt to the ground? Guess where I am right now.
It's funny, I was actually expecting Blizzard to do absolutely nothing and release Cataclysm out of no where, but in fact, they've started implementing Cataclysm lore related quest around the place where the citizens of Ogrimmar are starting to form cults and go crazy about 'the end of the world'.

One of which I did involved reading a book and answering a multiple choice questionnaire. It's like an exam IN WoW. It had something to do with the Aspects and how Nethalksnfsdnfs who protected Azeroth turned into Deathwing and all that shizz.

Good work Blizzard.

Small Plans.

RJD2 - Ghostwriter.

RJD2 - Let There Be Horns.

Midnight Mist.

DeviantArt, in a nutshell:

Forums (Art Scene):
  •  What is art? 
  •  Define Art. 
  •  Is this Art? (link)
  •  How is this Art?
  •  Why do I suck so much?
  •  Do you think this is Art?
  •  People say I suck, but I don't think I suck, do you think I suck?
  •  What is Art? (new thread because the last one was full of nonsensical bitches, so obviously, a new thread won't grant them the right to migrate here.
(On a side note, the rules are to make a new thread as opposed to bumping your old one. WHAT AND HOW.)

Comments on EVERY personal page:
  •  Thanks for the fave.
  •  Thanks for the watch.
  •  Thanks for the fave.
  •  Thanks for the watch.
  •  Thanks for the fave.
  •  Thanks for the watch.
  •  Thanks for the watch
  •  Thanks for the watch.
  •  Thanks for the watch
  •  Thanks for the watch.
  •  Thanks for the fave.
  •  Thanks for the watch.
  •  Thanks for the fave.
  •  Thanks for the watch.
  •  Thanks for the fave.
  •  Thanks for the fave.
  •  Thanks for the fave.

Job services:
  •  Commissions for 20 dollars!
  •  Hey man, I can make commissions for only 19!
  •  Bro, I can undercut both of you with 18.
  •  Hey guys I'm have a really generic anime-esque style and I'm charging 15$, obviuosly, you're going to pick me because I undercut ALL of those guys.
On a side note, I began to whore myself out by asking to take commissions for 15$+. So in case anyone has a shit load of money to waste and burn, hire me.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Crab Cakes.

Things to do but will most probably be delayed due to WoW:

1. Walk On Clouds revamp. (Expect it in 2 days perhaps.)
2. Actually play the new Minecraft. I started a new game for 5 minutes, died to a Creeper, and stopped because I died to a Creeper in the first 5 minutes of a new game.
3. Get to level 40 because 160% movespeed is AS SLOW AS A SEVERED FLACCID DICK FALLING UP A HILL.

4. Get a new computer, because apparently I'm only just over the bare minimum requirements to play Cataclysm. And obviously, I would get a brand spanking new computer, just to play WoW.
I don't remember if any of the readers actually sell computer stuff other than Robert -- but I will be in requirement of computer building related business post-hsc [just the tower, specifically].

Oh and the min. req's to play WoW is half a joke [you should probably check it, cause it would suck lieutenant balls if you bought the game prior] because I need a beast of a comp to properly paint 18x12" images without a lick of lag.

Here's something to break the text despite being at the end of it:

Vaguely obtained through Dannis's Youtube recent history. Check all the video's, they're good.