Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Benovolence.


You have no fucking idea how painful it was that I ruined this picture by 'making it better'. I'm not incredibly sure whether this version is the better that the other 2 versions it could have been made into.

// And now for some real blagging content, full of mystery, suspense, AND INTRIGUE!

If you read the last blag you would heard me mention something about a deeper and more emotional thing I was supposed to draw - I couldn't, so I might reschedule it. Though, it's based on something that happened last night, so I don't know if doing it later will dumb it down or not.

A quick summary of that event:
My dreams had melded with what was and what wasn't. I was awake, yet I dreamed on for a cause unknown to me or my fears. Half unconscious I writhed in the mellows of my mind unable to distinguish reality from the onslaught of my subconscious - but it was no monster, no fear to be done with, rather, it was a perfection of life. A false reality had been created in my favour. The lack of perception blinded me further as I chose to embrace the facade my mind had presented me. It showed me an alternate path in which another would intertwine with mine and together the cogs of the world would stop for just us two, the deprivation would seep away and fill the cracks, cowering from our magnificent presence. Our eyes would lock on one another and the outer frame would disappear into the void where the seekers kept on searching. She'd show me the ways of the turning of the world; the fear that moves us and the death that stops us. But no meaning was without connected minds. She saw the world as I did, but regardless of the ground we stood on, as long as out thoughts and spirits connected, the world would be insignificant.

- I could go on for fucking ages, but ... yeah. It's probably the same last couple of lines repeated over and over. That and just writing that type of stuff really irks me. Alot. But this is a recount so I fair game. -

Sharp pains in my body finally woke me, I opened my eyes and fell to a loss of this bettered reality. This perfection my subconscious seeks will only remain as a memory of something that could never exist.

TL;DR:
I had a dream where I had a girlfriend. Again. But this time I wasn't asleep, and the events and memories seemed real as severe fuck to the point I laid in bed for about an hour out of sheer disappointment.

My subconscious is one teasing FUCK. Maybe it's trying to remind me that I'm human. Or someone else is interjecting memories and thoughts into my head. Or it might be that whole past-lives-trying-to-redeem-themselves type thing that I've come to conclude sometime last year.
Or I could revert to the obvious and say that my brain is saying "Hey bubs, I'm lonely, do something about it, aight?"
FUCK YOU BRAIN.

5 comments:

wolf said...

youve a typo somewhere out or our?

Deevan said...

Yey Quoc
Are you going to start blagging about loneliness, now?

Kuoke said...

No. That's all I got on that. NOW TO BLAG ABOUT PORN.

Deevan said...

BUT WHAT ABOUT ANONYMOUS D=

Kuoke said...

I think it disappeared off the internet. So yeah.