Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Hargubaaaarble.

I went to go watch Kitchen Nightmares because yelling at people and making the sad is HILARIOUS.

But Channel 9 decided to be a bunch of ninnies and pull a 3 hour flood disaster news cast.

I'm all for the whole 'helping people that are probably going to die' thing, but there is absolutely no reason in the universe that we need to have 'shit's going down yo' blared in our faces FOR THREE HOURS.

Really, that's all it is. I can sum the entire 3 hours in a single sentence - "Shit just got real, help a brother out yo." I don't need to be told repeatedly that people are dying for 3 hours, I got it the first time 'round.

I could say the same about general news, here's how it should be:
"Bad things happened, weather's unpredictable - we're always wrong so we're not even going to bother telling you, that's all folks." SERIOUSLY - THAT'S THE NEWS, EVERY NIGHT. I just saved you all 30 minutes of every day of your lives.

I assume Channel 9 are going in defence in saying that "we having this session to show our support" - NO, YOU'RE NOT.  YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS IF YOU CARE BY RUINING YOUR SOMEWHAT HORRENDOUS TRACK RECORD OF BEING ABLE TO KEEP TO YOUR BROADCASTING SCHEDULE. IF YOU REALLY CARED, YOU'D DONATE SOME OF YOUR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS - I'M LOOKING AT YOU EDDIE MCGUIRE - TO THE ACTUAL RELIEF EFFORT, NOT THE SHAM YOU DICKFUCKS ARE PULLING - YOUR DICKS, THAT'S WHAT.

EDIT:
Oh let me rephrase that : FIVE WHOLE HOURS. That's more than how much sleep I've been getting for the last month because my entire neighbourhood have collectively agreed to mow their lawns on consecutive days at 9AM sharp.

I mean, they're supposedly 'warning people of what to do if you're in a flood zone' - ARE YOU NOT REALISING THAT MAYBE PERHAPS JUST POSSIBLY THAT BECAUSE THEIR HOUSES HAVE BEEN FLOODED, THAT THEY MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY HAVE ACCESS TO A TELEVISION?

EVEN SO, IF I SAW WATER CREEPING UP MY STREET, I SURE AS HELL WOULDN'T BE WATCHING CHANNEL 9, IF TELEVISION AT ALL, I'D BE PACKING MY SHIT AND HIGH TAILING IT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.

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