Friday, February 26, 2010


I had this idea before, but some guy on the NGBBS reminded me about this.

Remember that time I said I hated walls because they're stupid. Well tables and chairs are stupid. They're like floors, BUT HIGHER. Sure they're legitimately practical, but how many chairs and tables do you need? - Do you really need to put everything you own onto an elevated surface in case of flood waters?

My mind's pretty fucked up right now, so bear with me.

Do beds really need to be elevated? I'm sure at one time, people were all like "Fuck, I don't want like, fucking elephant tigers to be eating me when I'm dreaming about flying penises - The solution obviously would be to adjust our incremented levels from sea levels as to impose some sort of elevated stature above these foul beast; Those bitches' be all like 'Damn, I don't want to mess with a guy who's sleeping and entire METRE above the ground! It's like he's levitating or some shit!' ".
Or maybe they thought "Why is it that we've invented such magical things such as unicorns, religion and the cowgirl position but not a system to negate the in between time of getting into and out of BED!? - Why, let us construct an elevated surface so that we only have to go HALF THE DISTANCE!"

I disregard the 'practicalness' of tables when furniture cost thousands of dollars. TO THIS, WHY? They are literally pieces of wood and plastic designed to make your life 'easier' - you don't actually NEED furniture, just get some planks of wood and some milk crates and you're fucking set to fucking go.
I'm probably going to do this if I get some sort of healthy enough income, as to have something to fall back on if my anti-materialistic views become askew.


Strabo said...

Beds and tables were designed for arthritic old people. As well as, you know, people who don't want to go to the effort of having to bend down for stuff. That pretty much covers the human race right there.

And we make tables that are made of tables instead of milk crates because we're concerned about appearances and the good will of others. People find it hard to get laid when they bring girls to their house and then try to convince them that a mattress on top of some milk crates is a deliberate anti-consumerist statement, rather than just fucking uncomfortable.

ALSO: beds on the floor are called 'futons.'

ALSO ALSO: Word verification: Pubieso. hehehe. pubies.

Kuoke said...

NONSENSE. Chicks would be all like "This place is 'aight." cause the whole rustic 'I don't give a damn' attitude totally plays it with the ladies.

Strabo said...

Shit you're quick.

As long as the whole 'I don't give a damn' attitude evaporates like mist in the sun when it comes to doing the dishes/cunnilingus, then perhaps you're right.