Macabre Thrill.

We don't sleep to dream - 

We sleep to build stamina,

Energy to do our thing.

I don't know whether it was the crisp of the Autumn air, the soul settling jazz, or just plain me thinking about how incredibly inept I am at 'belonging', but I got those chills again, the ones I use to reconstruct myself into something better. I question whether I'm gaining more knowledge by going into this state of mind, or I'm discarding what I've known in order to become more hollow.

After 2 hours, I concluded that nothing matters. Further.

So I'm going to try and de-construct. Again. Because I believe my greatest trait is reconstruction after being put down, becoming stronger from being defeated. Yep.

So here you go, have some things I wouldn't really, but you might regard as 'secrets':

• My frequency of seeing things has increased in the psychological sense. I can only assume that my paranoia is picking up again causing my mind to perceive random glimpses of shadows to be more than that.
• For reasons I don't understand, most of my daydreams include scenarios of "What if your life continued to be as lonely as it is now and you never found anyone of the some kin? ...AND died alone." Funnily enough these scenarios usually play out pretty well in my head, hence, dayDream.
  For some sort of entertainment reference, I'd consider a likeness to Bitey as depicted in 'The Last of the Dashkin'.
• And to negate the whole emo feel I got goin' here; I fap furiously to gay furry porn as well as straight. Yep. I accidentally ctrl+z'ed this like, a minute ago, and back when I was a pussy, I would've been "Oh, that must have been fate telling me to not tell people I have a thing for furry cock", but fuck that. Just for future reference, completely excludes humans in every regard, cause real life dicks look gross.

So as opposed to an angsty emo ridden post, I'll leave you with something slightly more disturbing.

Also, I didn't realise until today that 'a useless' doesn't use 'an' despite 'useless' having a 'u'.